We have discovered a couple of great little books written by David Niven, Ph.d. entitled “The 100 simple secrets of Happy People” and “The 100 simple secrets of Happy Families”. The most interesting thing about these “secrets” is that they are all based on research. We will post a weekly tip at the ranch and here for you to consider…
Disagree with Each Other, Not Against Each Other
Which would you rather have, a family member who always agrees with you or a family member you can easily talk to when you disagree? The first may not exist, and even if it did, would not be particularly interesting or useful. The second does exists, and cultivating the ability to respectfully disagree will help you deal with any situation that arises.
My partner Bambi and I do not always see eye-to-eye on things.
Rather than this being a problem, we have found it to be something that stimulates us to look at things in a more open and creative way. Sometimes one or the other of us comes around to the other’s way of looking at something, but there are times when we have to just agree to disagree. The truth is that this does not make one of us right and the other wrong. It simply means that there are different ways of coming at a problem or question.
We all need to be open to another person’s perspective. We find this to often be true in our work with horses. There is not one “right” way to help a horse understand and learn what we are asking of them.
And this is true of the clients we work with too. Some can get what they need from verbal directions, other’s need visual cues and still others might actually need physical assistance. This does make one way right and another wrong…simply different ways of learning…
Researchers find that the ability to successfully communicate about differences is three times more likely to produce a high level of satisfaction than would simply having similar attitudes in the first place. Sano 2002