We have discovered a couple of great little books written by David Niven, Ph.d. entitled “The 100 simple secrets of Happy People” and “The 100 simple secrets of Happy Families”. The most interesting thing about these “secrets” is that they are all based on research. We will post a weekly tip at the ranch and here for you to consider…
Give Yourself – Nothing Else Really Matters
Everyone wants their children to be happy, to feel good about themselves and their lives. Often the most obvious focus on how to achieve that is to try and provide the resources and experiences we think will help children thrive. Ultimately, though, no event and no purchase you can give a child will matter nearly as much as the lessons you provide and the support you offer. You are by far the most important think you have to offer.
When working with horses we have to be in the moment. They know when you are not paying attention and will take advantage of the situation, sneaking out a gate or ducking away from an obstacle. Also, not being present when working with your horse can be dangerous. You will miss the cues that they are worrying about something and find yourself sitting on the ground when they take a fast step sideways, or getting stepped on when you are not paying attention to where your feet are. Focus is one of the wonderful lessons we help our clients learn through work with horses.
It can be challenging to find the time to spend with those we love. But in the end, when toys are outgrown or broken and left behind, your children will really remember the moments they spent with you – good or bad. Your daily interactions are what will be what forms the adult your child becomes. Do you allow them to be creative in their problem solving or are you always in a hurry? Do you accept their preferences (while encouraging them to try new things) or are they expected to ‘take what you get’? Do you really listen or just go through the motions? The time you spend actually being present with your child is the VERY best present you can give them and this is true for everyone in your family. Spend time with your grandchildren. Spend time with your brother or sister. Time is what means the most…
While most people thing that what happens to them is the biggest factor in their lives, events account for only about 3% of a person’s overall emotional state. Far more important are the personal connections they develop and perspectives they have on their lives. Rijsdike, et al., 2001