Tip of the Week 10/29/12

We have discovered a couple of great little books written by David Niven, Ph.d. entitled “The 100 simple secrets of Happy People” and “The 100 simple secrets of Happy Families”. The most interesting thing about these “secrets” is that they are all based on research.  We will post a weekly tip at the ranch and here for you to consider…

THERE ARE SECOND CHANCES

Family life is what we make of it – regardless of its form. Whether you are in a traditional family, a stepfamily, or some other family situation, you have the capacity to contribute to it and feel loved in it. There are no rules for what makes a family except the rules you make, and there is no time limit on when and how you find a loving family.

So many of our clients have experienced some kind of trauma within their families. It may be a death, or divorce or abandonment. It may be that they have never felt like part of a loving family. They may be living in a foster home or in an adopted family. But it is never to late to work at creating the kind of loving family you want to have. You can choose to surround yourself with people who you care about and who care about you. Even if that’s not where you are right now, you will have the the chance if you are willing to do the work of being open and loving with others. Sometimes that means working through the pain or anger that you have gathered along the way. This is one of the wonderful things about working with horses…they can lead us back to the path of love and healing…

Research on step families finds that participants must accept an often difficult transition period, but that ultimately family-life satisfaction can be as high in stepfamilies as it is in the most successful traditional families.    Visher, Visher, and Pasley 2003