Tip of the week 3.3.14

Don’t dwell on unwinnable conflicts

angerMove on. The problems you spend your time and energy on should be both important and improvable. Otherwise, you are better off moving on to things you can change.

There are so many things going on in this world that we should feel outraged about. I bet everyone of us has a list of things we get hot about whenever the subject comes up. But the truth is, in most cases there is little that we can do. This is not to say that you shouldn’t care or that you shouldn’t express your concerns. It simply means that getting angry, if that is all you do, will not go very far in solving the problem. homeless1_t614Focus on things you can change and do something to implement that change. Even the busiest person can sign a petition or send an email/make a phone call to a politician when they care about something. If you have the time, you can help at an animal shelter, a food bank, a homeless shelter, a senior center or some other local organization/agency that is doing something right in your community. Don’t just be angry!

P1050064In our work with horses, we often help our clients find alternative solutions when things are not going the way they want. There will always be things we can not change, but what we can do is change the way we deal with the challenge/problem/issue. One technique that we can use is to stop and consider what other options we have. This is particularly helpful if we are struggling to accomplish something. A client may be trying to get their horse to weave through a series of upright poles, but the horse is knocking over every pole! Stop and consider “why is this happening?” and “what can I do differently?” sleepy-child-1316088245Once the client stops and takes the time it may be easier to see that they need to give the horse more room to make the turn. There is almost always something that can be done if we simply stop and consider…This transfers into other areas of the client’s life. They hate getting up in the morning. Ok, so that’s something that probably can’t be changed, but how can we make it easier? Do you need to go to bed earlier? Do you need to get more done (shower, laying out clothes, collecting your school books) the night before? Consider what you can change rather than focusing on what you can not.

If you or someone you know is struggling with social, emotional or behavioral challenges, please call or email us to set up a visit. We will show you around, introduce you to our wonderful horses, learn more about what you are dealing with and share how we may be able to help.

Many people experience conflict in balancing their time between work and home. Studies find that people who want to spend more time in both settings wind up feeling decreased satisfaction at home and work. Those who recognize that their limited time is a conflict without a readily available solution are one-forth more likely to feel comfortable with themselves than those who do not.        Camproni  1997

 

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